Sunday, 15 May 2011

Salute to the Forties

To prepare for the invasion of visitors to Haworth for the 1940's weekend residents of Sun Street were ordered by the Village Association's stormtroopers to move their vehicles off the street by 7-30am on the Saturday morning.
Fortunately several members of the Sun Street Resistance Group, who were just pissing by the door, protested because there had been no prior consultation as the village stormtroopers had been instructed to do by Bradford Council High Command (Highways).
Most residents dug in defiantly despite the Traffic Management Land Army booby trapping the whole street with no parking cones in the quiet of Friday evening.
The village stormtroopers, led by a particularly feisty female oberleutnant who sells sweeties, expected the invading masses to use a farmer's field half a mile away from the village centre, but Rene of the Resistance knew this would not happen.
The village stormtroopers had levied a £5 charge to park there so visitors soon began to work out that if they threw the no parking cones over the wall, or took them home, or ignored them as if they were unexploded bombs the Sun Street Resistance would capitulate.
The street was swamped by visiting cars which an army of Fokkers couldn't have moved and at the height of the invasion the official car park had just 15 cars on it.
Despite the bollards, and there's been a lot of that talked recently, no one did anything to ticket the offending visitors nor did the traffic management company led by this man.

At the height of the invasion Rene and his freedom fighters feared that the local chip shop may be demolished and the prized painting of The Madonna With The Big Boobies destroyed.
Meanwhile the village Main Street was awash with the hordes of illegal parkers but our spies tell us that no parking tickets were issued all weekend although 250 bollards went missing.
Here is the street at the height of the invasion.
.....and the official car park as designated by the stormtroopers...

By the end of Sunday Rene and his faithful followers realised that they had been duped by the invading hordes but their real enemy had been the village stormtroopers who couldn't organise a parachute in a Messerschmitt.
The Sun Street Resistance will fight on and asked me to send this message to the village stormtroopers.

1 comment:

  1. As we knew they would the jibes have begun from the expected quarter.
    It wasn't the villagers who messed up here Mr P. It was you and the association.