Bakers

I'm looking for home bakers to sell their wares in my shop. Any takers?

Harrogate Hitler

I love this story.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-11609438

I believe Martin Bormann is taking over as leader until a suitable replacement can be found.
Whatever happened to a sense of humour?

Five a day

Lady came in and bought some wooden fruit today. She said it was her answer to five a day! Hope she has good teeth.

Old friends and buying from a gypsy

A strange day in the shop. For the first time in years a "traveller" came to see me.
"Will you buy from a gypsy today?" she asked. Not being particularly superstitious I bantered with her and eventually bought a yard of lace because I don't need bad luck at the moment!
Then, half an hour later, in came a couple I had not seen for over 25 years. I used to write about his footballing exploits when I was a junior newspaper reporter. Damned good he was too.
David and Barbara Wilson from Barnoldswick, it was lovely to see you. It's great to wipe away the years on a grey Tuesday afternoon. Give my love to "Barlick".

Magic mushrooms!

I now have so many wooden mushrooms in my shop I'm thinking of renaming it The Magic Mushroom!

I'll swear they multiply overnight.

Dogging

I've just read the following on an Internet forum. This is the administrator, what chance have the guests got? I will have to go to the bathroom!


"Have you heard of Dogging? I had not heard this term before. When I was at my mum's the other day she was telling me that they are going to close the cafe and picnic area on the Hogs Back on the A31 in Surrey. My sister uses the Hogs Back to go to work in Guildford. Couples are parking there and using the fields off the lay-by for sexual activity night and day. Apparently they call the people who do this Doggers, and the practice is known as Dogging. The council is thinking of closing the cafe and the picnic area and putting some bulls in the fields instead. I think they should put cameras and get the people's car number plates and publish them in the newspapers and shame them. It seems a shame and grossly unfair to close the cafe and picnic area because of these people."

I bet the bulls are delighted. Hahahahaha.

Oils

Crusty old Geordie man passed the shop today and remarked: "£200 for a f---*!* painting, I 'ad our lounge done for less than that."
"In oils?" I asked.
"No, he filled the oils in before he painted," came the reply.